Should I be Friends with my Ex - Not If You Want Him Devoted to You Later

You have been dumped and now you are wondering "should I be friends with my ex?" You have good reason to think about this seriously and come up with the right answer. I have been right where you are now and I had to figure things out on my own fast. Here is what I came up with.

Your ex boyfriend or girlfriend does not think you are good enough as a significant other so why would he insist on keeping you around as a friend? Now it could very well be that your ex likes you and likes being in your company but let's consider another possibility.

What if the real reason was that your ex wanted to keep you as a back-up plan - a Plan B - just in case he does not find anyone else or just in case a new relationship does not work out? 

What if it is just a question of making sure you are still into them like an ego boost? What if it is just to keep tabs on you to make sure that no one else has you even though they do not want you?

Do you see how you are giving your ex the power to control you and your emotions? Do you see how you have handed your self-respect over to your ex on a silver platter?

You cannot let your ex do this and expect to have him crazy about you enough to want you back. You will NEVER build the type of attraction needed to get him devoted to you and only you in future.

Stand your ground, reject any friendship with your ex and build your self-esteem and your attraction quotient. Then your ex boyfriend will be drawn to you...but do you want to know how to get your ex totally addicted to you?

You have to have a particular type of attitude that you will have that tells your ex that you can be perfectly fine having absolutely nothing to do him.

That's how you will get him back and KEEP him devoted to you. 

Still not convinced about the friends thing?

Read my other posts on this

Should I Be Friends With My Ex - 2 Ways to Just Say No

I Want Us To Get Back Together - How Can I Be Friends With My Ex

I Want A Second Chance - Should I Be Friends With My Ex

Should I be Friends With My Ex - 2 Ways to Just Say No

By now, you have decided that you do want to get your ex boyfriend back and you have solved the riddle "should I be friends with my ex?" You have made up your mind that you will not be friends with your ex because you know that that would not work in your favour.

Just in case you missed that post explaining why that would NOT be a good idea, it's here.

Now you are probably asking yourself how do I make it clear that we are not friends or that I do not want to be friends?

It is quite easy. You have two options.

The first is you tell him up front either in a text message or via email. 

Say something like "I think we should both go our separate ways now. I really do not think that it would be in either of our best interests to remain friends." After that, you disappear from your ex's life altogether or at least that is the appearance you give.

The second way to make it clear is by being very low key. By keeping a low profile, i.e. not initiating any contact whatsoever and not responding to all the calls and emails initiated by your ex, your ex will quickly understand that you are not at his beck and call any longer.

You are not close friends. You are not friends. In fact, at the moment you are at best mere acquaintances.

Now when you put either of these two strategies together with a clear step-by step plan aimed at getting your ex back, can you imagine how powerful you become? Your ex is naturally going to be drawn to you and will come and track you down.

Now, that is how you get your ex addicted to you!

I Want A Second Chance - Should I be Friends With My Ex?

Did your ex say to you "I think it is best if we stopped seeing each other but we can still be friends"? You are sure you want your ex back but at the same time, you are wondering "Should I still be friends with my ex?"

Let's recap and let me put this in perspective for you. 

Your ex-boyfriend dumped you. 

In essence, your ex told you that you were not good enough to be a significant other but suddenly you are good enough to be a "friend"? If you are like me, you'll see there is something seriously wrong with this way of thinking. That is why your gut instinct is to ask "should I be friends with my ex?"

If you really want your ex back, you cannot be a friend or best friend. Here's why.

One, it will be a one-sided friendship because you will be more invested in the relationship since your real motive is getting your ex back. That means you'll end up doing all you can to please your ex to convince him to like you as more than a friend. In time, that leads to your ex taking advantage of you and your kindness and taking you for granted.

Two, you are not giving your ex a chance to miss you by creating an emotional void. This is key to building the attraction necessary for them to be drawn to you and want to be with you.

Three, you will feel like crawling into a hole when your ex starts to date someone else and come and tell you all the details. After all you are a friend. That's your role now: to listen to your ex, your new best friend, talk about his new love life.

The hell? 

No, you are way better than that!

Short answer, no you should not, under any circumstances, be friends with your ex. Okay so now you are wondering, well how do I get that second chance? 

Well, you just need a good plan and one that will deliver results quickly.

Click here for that plan. I encourage you to read as many blog posts as you need to to get the strength to say NO to being friends with your ex.

What the hell for?