We all know that breakups are very rarely ever mutual. Regardless of what anyone says, there is always one partner who really did not want the break-up to happen at all and would have done anything to salvage the relationship.
That person, in his or her highly emotional state, invariably tries to convince, plead, beg and coerce the other into reconsidering. Are you the one doing the convincing, the pleading and the begging?
If you are and you really want your ex back, you have to pull it together, change your strategy and initiate a period of no contact right now without any justification or explanation. There are five main reasons for doing this.
One, no contact gives you the time to calm down and think like a rational human being. You are upset, angry, frustrated and wondering why in the world your ex simply does not want to be with you anymore. How could your ex not want to be with you? How could he or she not see you for the wonderful person you are?
You want to get your ex to see the mistake made in breaking up with you and give the relationship a second chance. The problem is that because your emotions are running high, there is no way you can exude the calm, cool, confident exterior that you need to have in order for your ex to even want to have a conversation with you, let alone see you as a wonderful human being.
Two, it allows both you and your ex the space that you need. This space creates some emotional distance between you and serves to diffuse the tension and highly charged emotions. The space allows you to reflect on you. What is it about you that you need to work on? How is the relationship between you and you? If you can figure this out, you are well on your way to rekindling that lost love.
Three, a period of no contact allows you to reflect on the relationship you just came out of. In hindsight, what was it about the relationship and your partner that you liked or that you did not like? Why did the relationship fail? How can the relationship be better if you are thinking of trying again? Is the relationship worth it? Is your ex worth it? These are questions that must be answered before you even think of rekindling your relationship.
Four, it gives your ex plenty of time to miss you. If you are constantly begging, pleading and trying to convince your ex to take you back or calling, texting, emailing and stalking, you are always around and most likely being incredibly annoying. You are not giving your ex the chance to miss you. When you suddenly cut off contact, your ex will start to wonder where you are and why you are not hounding them anymore. Do it long enough with the right plan and then they come looking for you. How about that?
Five, it gives you the time to find a strategic plan to get your ex back. The clock is ticking. The longer you wait to start no contact and implement your plan, the least likely it is for you to get that second chance you want.
Again, make sure that this second chance is really what you want and then go for it!
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